
4 min learnNew DelhiJun 17, 2026 01:00 AM IST
When a relationship begins to unravel, the emotional toll it takes — particularly within the presence of a kid — might be immense. Rhea Pillai, who started relationship tennis participant Leander Paes in 2003 and had a daughter, Aiyana, with him in 2005, opened up years later about how strained their bond had develop into.
By 2012, issues had reportedly deteriorated to the purpose of no return, and their authorized battle turned public in 2014 when Rhea accused Leander and his father of emotional, psychological, and bodily abuse. In an outdated interview with Mumbai Mirror, Rhea shared, “Nothing was ever hunky dory. I used to be simply saving my marriage for the sake of my little one. I had made peace with myself however there got here some extent once I determined that we would have liked to separate. His ego couldn’t settle for my resolution.”
She additionally spoke in regards to the emotional endurance it took to stay within the relationship, and the battle that adopted her resolution to stroll away. “Sure, Leander locked me out. I’d gone with my little one for a birday social gathering. Chief and his mom had been working out of the constructing as I used to be getting into. They even put my garments in bins and threw them out. Really, 5 folks had forcibly damaged into my home as soon as earlier than too,” she recalled the aftermath of her resolution.
What are the psychological penalties of staying in an unhealthy relationship ‘for the sake of a kid’?
Jai Arora, counselling psychologist and co-founder at Kirana Counselling, tells indianexpress.com, “Staying in a relationship solely for a kid can usually result in emotional burnout. Whereas the intent is protecting, the end result might be damaging. Youngsters are extremely delicate to emotional undercurrents and so they study every thing from remark. Consider it like this, a baby learns to speak and talk within the first 2-3 years, even earlier than going to a proper education. That’s observational studying in motion. Therefore if distorted and emotionally cold relationships are being modeled, that’s what the kid will study.”
On the core of it’s patriarchy and societal conditioning which frequently discourages ladies to take stand and relatively be supportive and make sacrifices for his or her household, even to their very own peril. For the guardian, it usually leads to power stress, emotional numbness, and a lack of private identification. Over time, this may escalate into despair or nervousness.
Why do some people react with hostility or manipulation when their accomplice initiates a separation?
When one accomplice chooses to depart, Arora notes, particularly after years of silently accommodating the opposite, it might probably deeply problem the ego of the accomplice left behind. “For some people, significantly those that equate management or dominance with love, a accomplice’s resolution to separate seems like a private failure or a blow to their perceived superiority.”
Past ego, there may be grief too. This usually triggers defensive behaviour: gaslighting, manipulation, and even public blame. “Ego, on this context, is not only about conceitedness, it’s a fragile identification construction constructed on energy dynamics. Separation dismantles that illusion of control. For somebody who hasn’t performed emotional work or confronted their insecurities, the lack of this management feels insupportable. And manipulation seems like management once more,” Arora explains.
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How can somebody in a strained relationship safely navigate the choice to depart?
Step one is acknowledging that one’s peace is non-negotiable. “Consulting a therapist will help in validating experiences and creating a security plan, particularly if manipulation, isolation, or refined threats are concerned. Involving household and buddies for exterior help is essential too,” states Arora.





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